Warning…this is not a happy post. If you need smiles and giggles today, please click here.
Tissue alert. You’ve been warned.
Yesterday, I had to sign a piece of paper that said it was ok for them to kill my furbaby. My sweet kitty Wrigley.
I know. There are prettier words. “Put To sleep.” “Passed away.” “Moved on.”
It’s a “kindness”, a “selfless act”, a “mercy.” But the truth is, I told them to kill him. I signed his death warrant.
It’s not ok.
I drove him there. I knew the entire way that he was not going to come home with me. He told me all about how he hates the car as we wove our way around hundreds of other cars full of people going about their day. People who have no idea I’m taking him to die. And, no doubt, they don’t care. Their world will not change. Their day will not change. Their life will not change.
I drove him to a cold, sterile place full of people who don’t know how wonderful he is. People who’s job it is to try to make him feel better. But in the end, those same people will kill him.
It’s not ok.
I don’t blame them. I don’t blame anybody. I just hurt. Today, my heart aches. Today, I say goodbye to a piece of fuzz who has been our constant companion for the last 12 years.
He didn’t know. He didn’t understand. He hurt, he couldn’t breathe. He struggled for air so much that he gasped. Mouth breathing, they called it. He lost control of his bodily functions in an effort to get air in. I couldn’t stand that he hurt. Suffered. Panicked. So, I signed the paper.
But it’s not ok.
Thank you, Wrigley. My sweet, furry, baby boy. Thank you for the sweet kitty kisses, for the long hours of cuddles, for the purs, for the bright, happy eyes. You’ll be loved forever, and missed.
Aw, Wrigley was a handsome kitty Melinda! You had a horrible decision to make girl. And watching someone suffer is heartbreaking. What you did was a very brave and loving thing to do. You’ve lost a close family member and it hurts. I’m sorry Melinda. I’m glad that you honored Wrigley by writing about him. I hope that this post helped you heal. Thank you for letting us know. I’m sending you a big hug! 🙂
I feel for you, Melinda. Such a hard and brave thing you did. Painful – yes. I was there a little over a year ago. My sweet baby, Sugar, slept with me for her last night as we knew the end was near. I did the same thing as you. She was in such pain, labored hard for breathe, I signed the paper. The pain is still fresh when I read things like this. Our fury babies are our family. {{{HUGS}}}
{{hugs}} We had to do this for our dog a few years ago, and suspect another’s not too far off – it’s an awful decision to have to make, but you did what was best for Wrigley. Thinking of you~
Melinda, my heart is breaking for you. I had a similar experience with my two old poodles some years ago. I have never hurt like that. it was the right thing to do but it still hurt like hell. and whenever I think about that day, I still cry – 5 years later. {{{{hugs}}}}
Sorry for your loss. We had a similar incident a few weeks ago. Loss always sucks. ((((Hugs))))
Thanks for the kind words and hugs, everybody. It does help. Sometimes it just sucks to be human, doesn’t it? He never knew what was happening to him, so he didn’t worry. He was a sweetie to the end. And even on the last day he played with his favorite toy, a plastic coat hanger. No idea why he liked those so much! The other cat would watch him with a baffled expression heh. Then again, the other cat likes to chase flashlight beams. /shrug
I’m so sorry about Wrigley. I had a similar thing happen in 2009. I’ve added a link to my Blog entry about Finding Isabel, my current cat. It hasn’t been easy, and I’m not sure I would choose euthanasia again.